“My son got rejected because he’s white.” It’s a refrain we often hear from parents — who are not our clients at Ivy Coach — navigating the college admissions process: It’s a refrain that disgusts us because no matter how these parents follow up their words, they’ve implied in their first utterance that their child is at a hopeless disadvantage as a white male in the elite college admissions process. It’s not true.

The White Male in Admissions Argument

A few years back, we came across a “Dear Therapist” letter in The Atlantic that we shared with our readers. In a letter to Lori Gottlieb, Lisa from Mendham, New Jersey complained of a rigged admissions system:

“My son is in the middle of the college-application process. He has very good grades and very good SAT and ACT scores; he is an Eagle Scout and a captain of the cross-country team. He is also white, male, and upper-middle-class—and that is the problem. According to all of the statistics and reports, he should be accepted at Ivy League schools, but he has not been. He will eventually get into a ‘good’ school, but it is my guess (based on what we are seeing with his peer group) that he will be overqualified for the school he ends up at.”

Ivy Coach’s Response to the Tired White Male in Admissions Argument

Lisa, you wrote that your son had failed to earn admission to Ivy League schools. Based on the date of the publication of your letter, he was presumably deferred or denied admission in the Early round. You wrote that he had “very good” grades and scores, was an Eagle Scout, and ran cross country before citing that he’s a white male. Of his demographics, you write: “That is the problem.”

The Myth of the Well-Rounded Applicant Argument to Ivy League Schools

Oh, how we at Ivy Coach beg to differ! Want to know why your son likely didn’t get in? Suppose your son presented himself in his college applications similarly to how you portrayed him in your letter to The Atlantic. In that case, it’s no wonder he didn’t get in: Ivy League schools aren’t seeking Eagle Scouts, an organization that, historically, hasn’t been all that accepting of the LGBTQ+ community. They’re not seeking cross-country runners unless those student-athletes are fast enough to be recruited by the school’s cross-country coach. If not, this activity only serves to make an applicant well-rounded. 

As Ivy Coach’s loyal readers know, highly selective colleges, like the Ivy League colleges, have not sought to admit well-rounded students for decades. Instead, they wish to admit singularly talented students who excel in one area that will help fulfill an institutional need.

Are Males Disadvantaged in Elite College Admissions?

These singularly talented students that elite colleges seek to admit come in all different shapes and sizes: male, female, non-binary, white, Black, Asian, Latino, Native American, Jewish, Muslim — you name it. Yet it’s clear that Lisa believes males have the deck stacked against them in the admissions process. That’s just plain false.

Elite colleges, including the Ivy League colleges, want to admit gender-balanced classes. Yet, the applicant pool skews heavily female at most highly selective colleges. So, because the institutional need is gender balance, it’s actually easier at most of these schools for males to earn admission than females.

Understanding Gender Disparities in Ivy League Enrollment

Let’s take Brown University as an example. At Brown, for the 2024-2025 academic year, there were 3,589 undergraduates who self-identified as men and 3,602 who identified as women. At Yale University, during this same year, 3,234 undergraduates self-identified as men and 3,422 as women. At Harvard University, during the 2024-2025 cycle, 3,271 undergraduates self-identified as men while 3,762 self-identified as women.

Are our readers starting to get the idea? And, remember, imagine the applicant pools if these institutions are trying to balance the classes by gender — even if they’re not succeeding since women regularly outnumber men.

The Myth that It’s Nearly Impossible for White Students to Earn Admission to Ivy League Schools

Now that we’ve dismantled the disadvantaged male argument, let’s address the race component of Lisa’s thesis — with more data.

At Brown, during the 2024-2025 academic year, 2,401 undergraduates self-identified as white out of a total undergraduate student body of 7,910 students — meaning that 30.35% of Brown undergraduates are white.

At Yale, during the 2024-2025 academic year, 2,111 undergraduates self-identified as white out of a total undergraduate student body of 6,814 students. By our arithmetic, 30.98% of Yale undergraduates are thus white.

At Harvard, 2,088 undergraduates out of a total of 7,038 self-identified as white during the 2024-2025 academic year. That’s 29.67% white!

Evidently, it’s not impossible to get into Ivy League schools as white applicants when about 30% of their undergraduate student bodies are white.

There’s No Such Thing as ‘Qualified’ for Admission to the Ivy League

Finally, Lisa, there is also no such thing as being “qualified” for admission to Ivy League schools. Many applicants with perfect or near-perfect grades and scores are denied admission year in and year out. Harvard could fill an entire incoming class — and then some — from the piles of denied students with perfect or near-perfect grades and scores. To suggest that your son is qualified for admission is thus nonsensical. Admission to America’s elite universities is a holistic process.

Misconceptions About Ivy League Admissions Can Lead to Sexist, Racist Leaps of Logic

Lisa’s assertions are based on misconceptions about the highly selective college admissions process, perpetuated by students, parents, school counselors, private college counselors, and others. But then, when she takes the giant leap by asserting that her son’s gender and race are “the problem,” — it’s utterly mind-boggling.

If Lisa wants to believe as much, she has that right. But it sure would have been nice if the therapist responding to the letter in The Atlantic called her out on her misguided sense of the college admissions process rather than soothe her sexist, racist insecurities.