Your College Essay Probably Sucks

Your College Essay, Your College Admissions Essay, Your Ivy League Essay

Yes, we said it. In your own lingo. If you’re looking for a sugar-coater, you’ve come to the wrong place.

There. We said it. In your own lingo. Your college essay probably sucks. We’re not going to sugarcoat it. And that statement isn’t even precise because of the word “probably.” We were too soft. We’ll take it a step further. Your college essay definitely sucks. In our many years in the business of highly selective college admissions, it is an utterly rare occasion when we come across the admissions essay of a student (before we worked with the student on the essay) that was, well, good. Just about every single time out of 100, the essay is pathetically bad. There is no sugarcoating this. And if you’re a regular reader of our college admissions blog or if you’re a client who works with us, you know that if sugar-coaters had an opposite, we’d be it.

If you want to have your ego patted, find a private college counselor in your area who doesn’t know how to write well and who doesn’t know the first thing about highly selective college admissions to tell you how good your college admissions essay. You’ll feel really good that day. You’ll feel like you’re a great writer who really capitalized on your chance to make a statement in your essays. You’ll have a big smile on your face and maybe even decide to take the rest of the day off. Maybe a trip to the beach will be in store for you.

But remember that blissful day. Because that terrible essay that your local private college counselor told you was good was more than likely atrocious. That essay about your grandfather in the nursing home? Bad. That essay about leading your team to triumph on the soccer field? Bad. That essay about overcoming a sinus infection to ace your AP Bio exam? Bad. Bad. Bad. If you want your ego patted, have your grandmother read your essay. We’re quite certain she won’t charge. If, however, you want your essay to make an incredible statement about who you are and what you’re all about, then Ivy Coach is here for you. So fill out our free consultation form┬átoday to get started. Rising high school seniors, now — not later — is the time to be working on your college admissions essays. So stop procrastinating and get started today. And remember — we do not sugarcoat anything! Ever. As though you haven’t noticed…

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