Thinking about writing one of your college essays set in the world of sports? Maybe you worked really hard to swim the best time in your most important event, the 100-yard breaststroke, and while you never broke 1:01, you learned valuable life lessons along the way. Or maybe you got injured during a baseball game sliding into third base, and even though you were out for most of the season, you persevered to come back even stronger? Or maybe you came in last place in the mile but realized running gives you joy even if you’re not particularly fast? If any of this sounds like something you intend to write about in any one of your college admissions essays, we do encourage you to think again.

The Power of Being Wonderfully Weird in College Admissions

A big reason our students at Ivy Coach so often earn admission to their dream schools is that they present to admissions officers at elite universities as wonderfully weird and highly specialized (A.K.A., they possess singular hooks that distinguish them amongst the many applicants who succumb to the trap of presenting as well-rounded). Through their singular pursuits — be they award-winning science researchers or animal rights activists — they dare admissions officers not to offer them admission. Writing about sports and other cliched topics does not achieve that objective. In fact, writing about sports will all but ensure that applicants will fail to differentiate themselves in the highly selective admissions process. To put it in sports lingo, it’s a no-win game.

Cliched Topics to Avoid in Your College Essays

Here’s a good rule of thumb: if the topic you’re considering for one of your college essays seems perfect because it’s particularly heartfelt, sentimental, or universally relatable, chances are this is a topic you should steer clear of. Let us explain. The average elite college admissions officer has to sift through thousands of essays during a given season. Through doing so, they grow used to pretty much every topic imaginable. You might think you’ll knock their socks off with your essay about your life-changing service mission trip to a foreign land, where you learned about yourself in the process, but guess what? This is yet another one of those “third-rail” essay topics that you should avoid like the plague!

Other third-rail topics Ivy Coach’s students are discouraged from writing about include essays about community service, illness, music, grandparents, and anything that strays too far into the territory of sheer bragging and boasting. The same is true for any essay that attempts too pedantic of a style. Admissions officers want to admit down-to-earth, friendly applicants, not verbose hotshots who don’t even understand that they don’t yet have mastery over their own writing! Thus, our students stick to colloquial language and ordinary turns of phrase.

The New Yorker Gets It Wrong When It Comes to College Essay Topics

So while we very much giggled at the New Yorker cartoon by Ali Solomain in which a mother consoles her son on the soccer field, “Someday, you can turn this crippling loss into a really triumphant college essay,” we urge our readers not to heed such advice. No admissions officer wants to read about your losses on the soccer field. Or in the swimming pool. Or on the gridiron. Hopefully, you get the idea. And, while you’re at it, avoid writing about music, community service, grandparents, travel, and illnesses. All essays on such topics will undoubtedly fall into the category of utter cliche drivel.

Ivy Coach’s Assistance With Choosing a Knockout College Essay Topic

Finding the perfect topic for college essays is easier said than done. Leave it to Ivy Coach’s team of former elite college admissions to guide you through this process so that you can focus on the writing process.

If you would like to optimize your child’s odds of admission to a highly selective college, fill out our complimentary consultation form, and we’ll be in touch.