Thinking about writing about something embarrassing in your college essays? Maybe about a time you accidentally wet your pants or let out a fart in public? In a recent piece for The Chronicle of Higher Education by Matt Feeney entitled “The Abiding Scandal of College Admissions,” he shares the story of a serial farter. As he writes, “Ed Boland, a veteran of Yale admissions, recalls a girl whose essay on how she was a ’serial farter’ improved her chances at Yale. The serial farter, in Boland’s words, was going for something about ‘gender and socialization.’” One of the student’s college essays apparently “celebrate[d] her harmless feminist farting.” Yes, you read that correctly. Her harmless feminist farting.

While writing about farting may have worked for this applicant, we would never, ever recommend a student focus on such a subject in any of their college admissions essays. We’re all for students making vulnerable confessions in their essays, but there’s a line, and serial farting crosses that line in our book, feminist or not. Could an admissions officer like such an essay? Yes, apparently Ed Boland liked it, though, according to his LinkedIn, he worked at Yale for a year back in 1988-1989. 

The Elite College Admissions Game of 2025 is Not What It Was in the 1980s

So what worked 33 years ago, well, doesn’t necessarily work today — to say the least! In any case, even back in 1988, the applicant was running too big of a risk as there was a reasonable chance another admissions officer wouldn’t like such an essay, even finding it rather gross. You don’t want to gross out an admissions officer and never want to do something in admissions just because it worked for someone else. They could very well have been the exception, not the rule. And, in any event, the serial farting essay has already been done — choosing such a topic would only showcase your lack of creativity!

Yet when people read a piece such as Mr. Feeney’s, they may well come away thinking they should be vulnerable and write about their passion for, say, farting. Or playing video games for ten hours a day. Or (heaven forbid) any topic describing illegal or inappropriate behavior for a teenager. But they’d be mistaken in choosing any such topic. It too easily can demonstrate a lack of intellectual curiosity. It too easily can lead an admissions officer to want to roll their eyes, go outside for fresh air, or splash cold water on their faces. While it’s ok to be vulnerable in college admissions essays, it’s not ok to be gross, and it’s not ok to devote the most valuable real estate you have in your application to something as silly as farting.

The Right Kind of Vulnerability in College Essays

Now, don’t get us wrong. Vulnerability can come in many forms. Sure, something as taboo as farting is bound to ruffle some feathers and backfire, but describing the origin story of your singular hook has the potential to ruffle some feathers in a good way. Say you’re applying as a next-generation marine biologist with a hook centered around research you’ve conducted in the discipline. Would it be a mistake to write an essay about how your fear of water spurred your academic interests? Of course not, so long as you focus the story during your high school years rather than your childhood.

And why would such a topic be more effective than one on flatulence? Because it gives admissions officers insight into how you will make a unique contribution to your prospective campus by engaging with all the marine biology resources their school offers. The same is true of an essay topic about how you’ve faced adversity due to your identity (whether it be race, sexuality, gender, you name it!). Due to the Justice Roberts Loophole, you’ll actually be at an advantage if you describe the challenges you’ve faced due to race in a post-Affirmative Action America. 

Vulnerability Works Only When It Serves Your Hook

But exercise caution: this vulnerability can not come at the cost of your singular hook. Your topic must tie into your hook, no matter what. So, if you intend to describe how your gendered experiences have shaped who you are, you had better be a prospective Gender Studies Major (or historian interested in studying gender, or biologist interested in the science of gender, etc.). You get the picture.