College Roommates

We believe the young woman who made the “ticking time bomb” comment should have her admission revoked by UCLA (photo credit: Alton).

Do you remember your college roommates? Of course you do.

Everybody remembers their college roommates — especially their freshman year roommates who most frequently are randomly assigned to them. Maybe you had a crazed serial killer (hopefully not)! Or maybe you had someone who always finished the toilet paper without replacing that. As Stephanie would say on “Full House” or as she does say on “Fuller House,” “How rude!” Sometimes students get lucky and become lifelong friends with their freshman year roommates. Lifelong friendships, we firmly believe, are the single most important takeaway from an education at one of America’s most elite institutions. But, yes, sometimes freshman year roommate pairings don’t work out.

File one particular UCLA pairing this year in the latter category. As reported in an article about UCLA roommates by “Fox News,” it seems that a first-year student, Ashly, got off on the wrong foot with her two roommates. And we firmly believe she got off on such a wrong foot that the roommates will rightly have irreconcilable differences with her. Here’s what Ashly sent to her two new roommates when neither responded to her initial email to them:

“Okay so I’m not sure why neither of you responded back to my emails, but I don’t really care as long as you both know this and understand that I’m not going to settle for anything less than what I’m gonna tell you that I’m gonna get once I arrive in the dorm. I’ll take the top bunk. I DO NOT want the single bunk where it has a desk underneath the top bunk so don’t try to leave me that. I’m also taking one of the white closets. There should be two white closes and I’m taking one of them. I don’t care which one it is, just know I’m taking one of them.

“I want the desk that’s near the window. Plain and simple. I don’t care about who gets the bottom bunk but just know that what I stated above is what I’m expecting once I arrive at the dorm and I won’t be in the mood for any arguing or other nonsense because one of you two decided to deliberately disregard this email. IF needed be I’ll turn it into a bigger situation so don’t try me.

“Sorry but not that sorry for the attitude. I don’t like being ignored because that’s just rude but that’s what you both decided to do so I decided to make it clear now on the kind of person I am and what I will and will not take.

“So as a final reminder: I am getting the top bunk of the bunk bed with the bed on the bottom, I am getting one of the white closes and I’m getting the desk near the window. That’s fair enough to ask considering that I’m giving up fighting for the top bunk.”

We feel for her roommates. The poor young women. And our fingers are crossed that these two freshmen can convince the UCLA administration to give Ashly a single room so they can live in peace. Because it sure does sound like Ashly is going to be using all the toilet paper without replacing it. To say the least.

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