We decided recently to stop answering our phone. Yes, you read that correctly. We don’t answer our phone. If a current or past client calls us and leaves a message, we will of course return the call (though they have a more direct way of getting in touch with us). But if a prospective client calls us, it means they haven’t done their homework. It says on our homepage: “To paraphrase the great Nelson Mandela, ‘Don’t call us. We’ll email you.’” President Mandela may have in fact said (upon leaving office in South Africa), “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.” But since we email back to completed consult forms, we had to paraphrase the great leader rather than quote him directly.
The best — indeed the only — way for prospective clients to get in touch with us is to click on our orange button and fill out the form (or just fill out the form by going to the link in this sentence). Once this form is filled out, a prospective client will receive an email from us within the day delineating our service offerings. If the client would then like to proceed with a free 20-minute consultation so we can answer questions about our service offerings, we’d be happy to schedule one. The free consult is not to ask us advice on whether Landon should report all of his SAT score or only one, if his volunteering in Bolivia is going to help his case for admission to Yale, or if we’ll review any admissions essays he’s written. All of that is part of our paid service. We are not Ask Abby. We’re an American business.
We stopped answering our phone because we feel our site is very clear that we prefer prospective clients to fill out our form if they wish to inquire about Ivy Coach’s services. And too many folks call and say, “But I just have one question. Can you answer it first?” We always respond, “No, we cannot.” And that’s because we don’t have time to stay on the phone all day and get our brains picked. Who needs that. Not us. We would much prefer to devote our time to our existing clients — and not potential ones with their many questions. If these folks are that interested in working with us, they’ll go to the trouble of filling out our form and scheduling a free consult. It’s quite simple. And if they don’t want to go to such trouble, we’re not interested in speaking with them anyway. Sometimes, it can be quite fun to vent. “But I just have one question.” Uh huh. We’ve never heard that one before. That’s ten minutes we’ll never get back. Not ever.